Things you should never have to say to your roommate... but that I have (with complete sincerity).

"Pull your pants up, please."
"Get your shoes and I'll help you put them on."
"Don't touch the poo!"
"Do you need me to wipe your nose?"
"Woo-eee! Steeenkeeee!"
"That's not a cow-- it's a dog."
"Seriously. That doesn't match. You'll get made fun of!"
"Wipe and flush, please."
"See? Picking up your backpack wasn't so hard."
"We're going to the store. And if you behave I'll give you a treat!"
"Need me to take your shirt off?"
"Can you say 'yellow'?"
"What does the word 'hurry' mean?"
"What does a frog say? Ribbit, ribbit!"

(In response to "what's that?"):
"This is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."
"It's a sock."
"A person."
"Garbage."
"A car."
"It's your blanket."
"A dog barking."
"Someone coming in the door."
"A cow mooing."
"The same cement truck we've had at the house for the past four months."

(In response to "what are you doing?"):
"I'm watching you put your seatbelt on."
"I'm waiting for you."
"Driving."
"Making your lunch-- like I do every morning."
"I'm changing her pants."
"Singing."
"Well I was trying to ignore you."

Today I tickled my roommate...

... until she threw up.

Styling hair

has never been a strength of mine. However, I helped one of my roommates style her hair into a Hengen-style mohawk today and I've gotta say... it looks good.

It must be diet season.

Everyone's talking about losing weight. Probably so that by the end of the holidays they can walk away even, or at least without too much extra weight packed on...
Regardless, it's not the deceiving chatter that gave me the heads up. It was the fact that while one of my other roommates devours lunchmeat sandwiches, grapes and baked Cheetos with me for lunch, another roommate is watching jealously... with only her favorite stuffed animal's feet to gnaw on. Interesting dieting tactic.

It's been a while...

...like, over 10 years, since I've played Barbies. And, hello? For good reason. You outgrow these things, you know? But my roommate decided she'd been without long enough and I helped her get her collection of Barbies down from her top closet shelf. I was talking with my other roommate when I happened to glance over and see her with a Ken doll in hand. He was bent over a little, and she had undone his pants and pulled them down a ways. She ran her finger along his buttcrack for a second before bringing the same finger to her nose and sniffing. "Eeeeewwwww" she said. And put him back in the box.

She looooves yogurt...

Once I watched her take, like, 20 minutes to eat a Yoplait. She had to savor every trace of the stuff. She even went so far as to lick the table so that she wouldn't waste the smallest, untraceable amount of her raspberry delight. She's got a hold of some strawberry yogurt today, and I just watched her lick the table again. Only last time the table was clean... this time there are hardened remnants of chocolate syrup from last night's dessert (mixed with a few other surprises, I'm sure). The grossest part is that she didn't even hesitate. And if she dropped some more, she wouldn't hesitate the second time. She IS my roommate.

So it's Spirit Week...

...for three of my roommates and they've been going all out. Blue hair, silly socks, crazy hats, poodle skirts, and, uh... red clothes. Anyway. It's been ca-razy. The craziness has even rubbed off onto one of my not-in-school roommates. Today she wore pink tights with different colored polkadots UNDER a dress that was equally as colorful, except with a floral pattern, and was ACCENTED by her new pink One-Star All Stars (my doing), that combined with the rest of her wardrobe to OFFSET the blue lingering in her hair from yesterday. Her pink-rimmed glasses and a GIANT pink and polkadotted bow topped it all off and HOLY HOTT MAMA. Haha. I'm surprised no guys hit on her at the park today. Maybe it's because there weren't any there... We'll be sure to hit up more populated areas on her really "on" days.